Question for all you women...

Posted by Pupalicious (295 days ago)

I was reading the messages posted here, and two phrases stuck in my mind as rather disturbing. One was 'he asked for sex and I let him do as he wish' and the other was, 'I never said no to sex'.

Do you all think that sex is something the guy wants to do? Are there no women out their in charge of their sexuality? Is anyone showing men what they want them to do? Where to put their hands, which angle to point their 'members' during intercourse? Or do you all lie back and look at the ceiling until he's finished?

Maybe it's just me, but I feel that sex should be an act where both people instigate and enjoy pleasure together. It's about being intimate and exploring each other's bodies, finding out what feels good and what makes your loved one go 'oooooh'.

What also disturbed me while on my friend's hen night (batchelorette party) was that my friends fiance, who was in a strip bar with one of the other girl's husband) took five phone calls to come pick her up. She was too drunk and needed help to go home, but it took him almost 45 minutes to come help his future wife home - and he was only on the other side of the street! I called my boyfriend, who was also out with his friends, and it took him five minutes to come help me home.

What happened to feminism? What happened to...I don't mean being in charge of your men, but what happened to mutual respect and mutual understanding? What happened to taking charge of your sexuality?

Can anyone help to enlighten me?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by MAVIM_88 (294 days ago)

It takes two hands to clap. The more you're into it, the harder to come out of it. This act of love build a strong bond between a couple.
Its a mutual agreement between a couple to love and respect each other in a relationship. Whatever happen, its our own sole decision we made from the start.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by candice billove (294 days ago)

IMHO despite all the talk about 'girl power' and taking charge, i think the majority of women still feel the need to please their men just because they dont like to be unwanted and the fear of ending up alone, the still-present pressure on women if they're single when they're 30 isn't helping either, esp in an asian city.

i also think there is a cultural tension between the western & eastern ideals. asian guys often want a 'virtuous' woman, but the western 'liberalisation' clearly contradicts. i see disturbing things happening too, and i often wonder how they could be truly happy.

i know a lot women of western societies end up in a self-abusing cycle too, so i guess it just boils down to insecurity and fear that drive that sort of behaviour. that's my theory anyway.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (294 days ago)

You keep getting what you accept.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Strawberry_Shortcake (290 days ago)

I love having sex and I don't think men benefit more when we do it EXCEPT** that he gets to finish and I don't. You may say a gentleman should always let the lady finishes first but come on how many of you really finishes every time you do it? Those are the days when I think he benefits more, and I wish it could be as easy for me.

I don't believe Asian guys are the only guys who prefer virtuous women..actually if your bf is taking you seriously he would feel a little sour knowing that you have picked up before in the bar..it's normal me thinks.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by chinapumpman (290 days ago)

Hey Strawberry
Send me an IM....Joking
Really u r right...a gentleman should let a lady finish first and if she doesn't then he should go back after his meal and finish hers too...haha
Who really cares about what happened before you..only insecure people.
Real men can keep women...regardless of age race or anything else as they have confidence in their own ability..not worrying about others..
Me thinks this will get a response..

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by Strawberry_Shortcake (290 days ago)

come on pumpman, if you are a regular on xpat you should know 'keeping women' is not such a huge problem here! lol..

i appreciate men who 'insist' on letting me finish first, to be honest sometimes i don't even care SO much if the partner finishes at all because if he is a regular partner I am sure the frequency of him finishing is higher than me! 'he asked for sex and I let him do as he wish' on one hand seems sexy as the guy can take the lead and do whatever he wants but on the other hand is really boring.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (289 days ago)

It was just that ''he asked for sex and I let him do as he wish' makes me think of this lifeless woman just lying there while he does his thing. What she should have said was, 'he asked for sex and it was fantastic' or something similar. It just worries me no end that these women are lying back and thinking of their country.

I completely agree that with a regular partner, the ration of me:him being satisfied is definately unbalanced (you can PM me pumpman) but it's still fun! There's kissing and touching and the rest. It's nice! It feels good! "And I let him" doesn't really come into it!

However, multiple partners definately want to help you finish your dinner more than a regular partner. But I think that's either because they want to be asked back to do it again, or they don't want you to give a bad report to your friends the next day.. or later that day.. hehe.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (288 days ago)

but maybe it wasn't fantastic.....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sidsingh (288 days ago)

Strawberry Shortcake ( that name definitely rings a bell!)

I agree with Pupalicious's comments. A woman who is in charge of her sexuality & is also an active participant in the sexual act gets my thumbs up! I think in the case of a regular partner, it is the responsibility of both people to communicate & ensure that the act is enjoyable for all and if it's not for her, then she should point it out to him asap.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by My Hong Kong (287 days ago)

Sometimes lying there and let him do the act...or he lies there and you do the act on him...is sensational. But of course, sometimes you like it wild. ;)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kyutie_angel (268 days ago)

I have been in a relationship for 7 years now..

How could most of the women lying and let their partners do all the fun? It is good to see how you can manipulate your guy on bed.. For all the women out there that just let their partner do all the work try to experiement.. you'll see it is fun... it will boost your confidence and you'll feel good about your relationship.. I know it is not all sex that make the relationship work but I am sure sex is one of the main reason why relationship fail..

(I am based in Unspecified)