losing count of men

Posted by ayumi (327 days ago)

Tonight i was out with a friend and we started counting the men we slept with since coming to HK. The shocking discovery is that we had forgotten about some of them, and only through our mutual help we managed to complete the picture. Some of these men disappeared after one night, others stuck longer (the longest relationship being 2 years)

Do women feel guilty about the number of men they had sex with? We felt a bit sluttish when we looked at the total, but the number of men a year is actually rather low.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by m_gz (327 days ago)

Now there's a question for the chattering classes at GWIC to get stuck into on their next social.....shameless, sordid sluts one and all or sassy, self-confident sirens?

In the meantime, c'mon Xpat ladies of GZ....off with those shoes and socks for the final headcount - as much as memory will allow anyway. Disgraceful.

I'm predicting few straight-answers here. This can of worms risks putting all of us shameless, frock-chasing men to shame. Oh yes it does.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by m_gz (327 days ago)

With my usual discretion of course, I can say that in 7 years here, I've met some absolute shockers. Expat 'ladies' with GZ stories capable of causing nose bleeds no less.

I should first make sure the ones I thinking of are long gone first though.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by ppoutdoor (327 days ago)

I wonder if expat wimmin in GZ actually sleep with local Chinese, or whether they confine themselves exclusively to their little social expat ghetto's, like they did in HK 20 years ago ?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by marieantoinette (327 days ago)

Lordy, how things change!! My days in GWIC consisted of coffees with the God Squad!!! :-)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Havefaith (327 days ago)

There are men in the future that you may wish to settle down and/or marry who would mind if you have been around (a few times). I would suggest the fewer the better from now on.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by selda (327 days ago)

I stopped counting when i was in my mid-20s. What's the point? Certain figures can't be used in polite conversation without causing shock, so partial amnesia is a better strategy. Again, very unfair, men can boast about their conquests while women are supposed to feel guilty about double or triple digits.

if you have a good sexual appetite, and you are not in a long-term relationship, even as little as 5 men a year make up a long list over a 20-30 year span...i think that the total doesn't matter, you should look at the monthly and yearly count...those figures might convince you that you are a paragon of virtue :-)

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by P.M (326 days ago)

So ...the question is probably less to do with statistics than how you feel about it;I mean ,did you have fun? Did anyone get hurt or an STD ? Do men point you out and shake their heads?
I mean seriously.....you can do what you like so long as you can live with it....I presume you are young ,right? there is nothing in this to indicate you are not going to settle down one day .Some of the biggest players become model partners in their 30s...my brother for one!!!
Frankly if it were a choice between crying over loneliness, eating chocolate and watching tv or out partying in a er, a racketty lifestyle...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by naimakiddo (326 days ago)

I'm not exactly proud of it but I don't feel guilty about it either.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by RastaMan (321 days ago)

I wonder what is the total (and the monthly / yearly average). Anybody dares a number?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Chewinthefat (321 days ago)

Hmmmmm? Interesting!!!!

Before we get to numbers i'd just like to say one thing. Regardless of being male or female if you're a single individual who is not in a relationship, and therefore completely a free agent, then as long as you are not hurting anyone then what the hell.

We all view/crave/perceive sex in different ways, normally according to our own personal moral standpoint. No one is right and no one is wrong, it’s just a matter of personal choice. Barring the obvious advice of being careful and discreet etc it’s up to you entirely, as an adult, how many men or women you sleep with. As previous posters have mentioned, it’s ok as long as you can live with yourself.

Now numbers!!!! For men, I know cos if you havent already guessed I am one, the number can be huge, as it is extremely simple for a man to have sex in HK. I mean it doesn’t matter whether you're Brad Pitt or the hunch back of Notre Dame any guy can score in minutes if he wants to. In the right areas of course and i don’t mean with women of the "oldest profession' that is. I mean legitimate partners. However, to be numerically more precise the normal average is around of 12 partners per year minimum (in my social circle). Remember this figure is a very conservative number. To be brutally honest, some are notching up that figure per month.

Hmmmm!!! so theirs my hat in the ring, so tell me ladies what is a conservative estimate for the fairer sex???? it would be interesting to know an honest figure for once.

Anyone???? Remember we are all discussing this subject anonymously.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by P.M (320 days ago)

So this is the Mars/Venus thing ,chewingthefat...women don't usually tell...although many younger ones are out there ,having fun ,maybe having a few different boyfriends they are usually looking for a relationship ,not just empty sex.
"Women trade sex for affection ,men trade affection for sex"
I'm not a guy I dunno but they do it differently in their heads it seems ,esp young ones.And yes you don't need to be Brad Pitt here....lots of women looking ...but if you think its for 'no strings horizontal folkdancing' you'd be wrong.Does that make them 'legitimate partners' because they do it for free?
Now the numbers...no idea I would hazard no more than 6 a year for the most active...there...so someone more in tune than me like to comment?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by naimakiddo (318 days ago)

GZ ladies would be at least 3 max in a year...there's a shortage of eligible men here...even for flings!

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by tattooedblonde (318 days ago)

ppoutdoor: If only the local men were interested in the foreign women then maybe the stats would change. You can look up threads about the female population having a whinge about it.
I've always had the belief if you're single and you play safe, then whats the problem with having some fun?
Naimakiddo: completely agree with you. It seems that the old saying is true: "all good men are either married or gay" i've met some real doozies while i've been here...

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by Meems (317 days ago)

Not sluttish at all. Enjoy it while you are still young and attractive. At least you didn't have to pay for sex.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Markuk (317 days ago)

Meems Yellow Carded and receives Verbal Warning for an unprovoked dig at GZ men.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by P.M (317 days ago)

Very cute Markuk that got a chuckle out of me...maybe Ed can bring in Yellow card system...
so what about HK?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by m_gz (317 days ago)

Good one MarkUK. Just shows that even in a thread re women's sexual partners, number thereof, Us men remain firmly in the cross-hairs for abuse and are still fair game.

Of course, the perfect male retort would be "at least we've never been paid for sex" but the GZ expat man is above such crudity.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by naimakiddo (316 days ago)

Alright...maybe the single guys are out of downtown that's why we can't find them. As much as we want to go out and have fun, we don't want to become a mistress overnight as well.
Besides, I think its obvious that most of the guys are out with local ladies.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by son_e_jim (293 days ago)

Who cares? You treat me with respect, I treat you with respect.
If I fell in love with a lady, and the conversation became about previous experience and she gave me a six digit number, I might need to sit down and have a bit of a think, but tomorrow I'm not going to care. What I would care about is her being safe.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by candice billove (288 days ago)

but how many is 'too many'?

i know age makes a difference so what are the numbers for when u're: 20, 25, 30, 35, 40?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by stephenl (262 days ago)

sweeping sweat off my forehead.... @_@|||.....
Cool girls...

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by Pupalicious (259 days ago)

Well the thing is... my friend has slept with about three or four times the number of guys I have, but she's had a lot less actual sex than I have.

The reason for my pitiful total is that I was in 2 long term relationships, and pretty much having sex every day. Thus the actual amount of sex is quite large, but the number of blokes is small. She's had about 30something men, but only had sex 30 or so times.

What makes a girl a slut anyway? Having lots of sex or sleeping with lots of blokes?

And why are girls sluts but guys are studs? As long as everyone wears a condom it's all good!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by candice billove (258 days ago)

so your friend basically only has one night stands?? did she know the guys beforehand? is there a reason they don't call her after? i can't imagine she would feel really good about this.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by concor1 (169 days ago)

i passed the stage of counting already. i think its normal to feel bad about yourself if the number is too big. but that only shows you love sex. and you are perfect healthy attractive woman.( if u dont love sex and sleep with a lot of men, thats a problem !)
just enjoy the sex!

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by Little Carmen (169 days ago)

have you also passed the stage of knowing that the last post on this thread was some 3 months ago??? Nothing worse than chewing on stale cud. I beg you, please dont dig threads that have already quietly and appropriately died a death many moons ago...please....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by len_in_shanghai (162 days ago)

Loving the question! In full honesty since I came to Asia I have hit a 3 digits number. If you check the new Mercedes Benz of the Durex's CEO, you can read "thanks, Len" in the back fender.

(I am based in Unspecified)