marriage Annulment

Posted by Feng (840 days ago)

I have been having an affair with a married foreigner. His family is obviously not in Guangzhou. I decided to marry him anyway and had my marriage registered at his consulate so I can get my brit passport and go back and forth to England as often as I want. I just learned that his wife found out. Is there anything she can do to annul my marriage? I am Chinese. What would happen to me?

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Find what you are after in our Macau A-Z Directory

Posted by lakambini_06 (840 days ago)

that's what you call bigamy, the marriage is illegal..you will have a lot of trouble..

(I am based in Manila)

Posted by 2468 (839 days ago)

I don't think you can get a brit.passport right away. you must stay in UK for 2 to 3 years.i am sure that hs consulate is going to find out that he's married then you both in trouble..in jail..

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Simplewife (839 days ago)

She can put you in jail if she wants too..and you can never never enter UK if the wife is going to report that to the immigration..

(I am based in Macau)

Posted by Feng (839 days ago)

His first marriage was never registered at the brit consulate in the country where they live but I am still very worried on what could happen here in Guangzhou.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by TC (839 days ago)

Doesn't matter. He's already married and BOTH of you have COMMITTED A CRIME. Don't try to make it sound like you're an innocent victim here.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cat soup (839 days ago)

Your marriage is illegal, the chances of ever getting British passport would be zero. And I would think your boyfriend will be getting it up the English Channel for a while.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by andrealyn (839 days ago)

If he truly loved you, he would have divorced his wife first before going further with you. Can you really trust a man like him? How do you know he won't give you the same treatment? Or did you marry him just to go to England? You and already married "husband" are going to be in a lot of trouble. Have you ever heard of Karma? Cancel your marriage and leave him. I knew two women in the same situation like yours and the outcome was very very ugly.

(I am based in Seoul)

Posted by douglaskoh (839 days ago)

Your marriage does not need to be annul. It is void at initial, meaning it is not legal even if you go through the proper procedure.

Hmm... sounds familiar......我在中国没有结婚 or 我今晚还没有结婚.

Oh. By the way, there is a thing in this world called computer database. So far, only a few hackers can beat it. Are you one?

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (837 days ago)

People like you give all of us Chinese women a BAD NAME!!!!! Your marriage is not only illegal in the UK, but also in the Mainland. I am very suspicious of your motive behind marrying this British man. Just think about the scene that you can see once you step into Chinatown in London....so many illegal Chinese standing around!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mingg03 (833 days ago)

Feng,
Do not worry much if he has kids I doubt his wife do anything at all. I am in the same situation like you, difference is that my husband is french.Who cares, although my husband continues living with his wife and kids we continue pretty much in touch. I hope he will soon come into his senses and accept to divorce her. Just as in your case my husband's never registered their marriage (USA) so I won after all. He does not care crap about her otherwise he would have never registered our marriage. Whether his wife finds out or still I just do not care. She and the kids do not exist for his government. I live very happily and I even have a son now. It is a pity that my son is not my husband's but another married foreigner (somone who has lots of businesses here in Guangzhou). In fact I am already trying to get pregnant again. I do not know if I will be ever be able to go back to my husband but from the time being I am extremely happy.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by TC (832 days ago)

mingg03,
That sounds to me like a very tortuous path to achieve happiness. But if you're happy - no matter how you achieved it - then that's the main thing, I suppose.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by douglaskoh (832 days ago)

No comment on the part of happiness.

However, from the legal viewpoint, the statement "She and the kids do not exist for his government." needs to be qualified. A marriage can be formed in many ways, registration in one's nation is not the only way. For those who cares whether he or she is committing a CRIME called bigamy, my advice is to consult a lawyer.

BTW, the word "husband" in English refers only to the man you are LEGALLY married to. Please do not abuse it.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by cat soup (832 days ago)

And here’s me thinking Disneyland was in Hong Kong.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by New Jersey (832 days ago)

Being married to 2 women in 2 different countries is bigamy. All the first and only wife has to do is go to her husband's embassy with her marriage certificate and proof that he is indeed married somewhere else. If he was stupid enough to register the second one to his consulate it gets better. Once he is reported, he'll be arrested and will have to go to court and bigamy gets a term of 5 years in prison here in the USA. What about CHina?

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by raincatcher (832 days ago)

I don't understand why some women still have the "face" to say things like, "I won afterall" or "I have been having an affair with a married foreigner. His family is obviously not in Guangzhou. I decided to marry him anyway..."

Don't you have any conscience??? I sure hope that you will get the exact same treatment as your man's ex-/first wife!!!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by New Jersey (832 days ago)

Raincatcher, I believe in "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND". It is just a matter of time and whether the first wives do something or not... when the time comes the bigamist and partner will get it.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by turtle1 (831 days ago)

Do feng and mingg03 understand the word "marriage"? They certainly don't seem to understand the concept of bigamy.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by douglaskoh (831 days ago)

Well. Coming from a country where the only way to get married is to go through a tough procedure (only recently, some of the requirements like medical checkup, employer's approval, etc. are lifted), it is not hard to understand a marriage can be formed easily overseas.

In some regions, marriage can be formed by saying "I do" in a church, like we seen in the movies. Most countries recognize a foreign marriage based on two requirements: 1) the required procedure is followed in the place where marriage is formed regardless where the parties are from (the parties may be there for holiday, it does not matter), and 2) the parties must have the capacity to marry under the respective law of the region where they are domiciled in.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (831 days ago)

To Feng and Mingg03:

Please do NOT have any children because you are both not morally capable to raise and EDUCATE a child. What is more important is that in case your man abandons you in future, just like he did to his first wife in order to "marry" you, your children will be hurt in the same way as your man's children from his first wife. Children are innocent and they should never pay the price of their parents' wrongdoings.

Thank you!

Raincatcher.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mingg03 (831 days ago)

raincatcher, I do not know Feng's situation in depth but in my case. My husband still lives with his family in USA. I have a beautiful blonde son from my current lover who is unfortunately married and has 2 kids with his wife so he will never leave them. They live here in Guangzhou and his wife does not know. I have a good job and he also supports me. We are trying to have another one soon so your advice is late. I would love for MY HUSBAND to leave his wife but he adores his son. It will happen sooner or later I am sure. I just have to wait. When the times comes I will see what I do with my present man. He has a lot of money and connections. You know i guess how all these works. I am financially stable and I am not planning to let that change.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (831 days ago)

Your response to my "advice" is APPALLING!!! I guess we don't have the same "mentality" to communicate.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by turtle1 (831 days ago)

Nor the same ethics, morals and values it would seem.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by TC (830 days ago)

minqq03's story is so incredible it's almost unbelievable. Taken straight from the script of something like Desperate Housewives. No morals at all, I'm afraid.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pinkstone (828 days ago)

I agree. it's really unbelievable, just like movies..

(I am based in Macau)

Posted by Meiguoren (825 days ago)

Let's use the correct language. By definition, these men are not your husbands. You are an adulteress and he is a bigamist. Your children are bastards. Those are the straight, literal words in the English language. Anything else is a euphemism. If you want to be less confrontational with reality, you could call yourselves his "mistress" and your poor child merely "illegitimate." But don't be delusional. These men are acting like the slimeballs that they are only because they can get by with it here. In their own culture, they would be ostracised, treated like the dirt that they are, and likely jailed. It's hard to imagine such desperation that you would squander the best years of your life on these lizards. And yes, it is absolutely true that if they would do it to one woman, they would do it to you as well. Rest assured, your karma will roll around too, when he gets tired of you and decides to "marry" somebody younger. Too bad these men seem to be such prolific contributors to the gene pool.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (825 days ago)

I only believe in the saying, "It takes two to tango." The men above are at fault. There is no doubt about it. But the women are equally guilty. Women in cases like this are innocent only when they do not know the men are married.

If I were you two, Feng and Mingg03, which will never ever happen, I would be too ashamed to reply to this thread.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mingg03 (825 days ago)

Raincatcher, you certainly are right. I have nothbing to be ashamed for. I love "MY HUSBAND" and "HE LOVES ME". I could care less what any of you think, this is open to any opinion. I habve respected BY EVERYONE who knows me, at home & at work. My family support me completely and I even live with my siuster who helps me with my child. My child is happy and so AM I.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (825 days ago)

I'm not surprised about your response, which is again unbelievable to normal human beings with a conscience. Have you heard of the idiom "Birds of a feather flock together". In Chinese it is "物以類聚". When you compare how the rest of US react to YOU with the way your FAMILY/FRIENDS react to YOU, you'll know what I'm talking about!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Meiguoren (825 days ago)

Some of the little beggar children on the street seem happy, too. That doesn't mean it's good for them. Hey, and prostitution can be good money, in the short term. Did your parents model these kind of "family values" for you as well, Ming? I think that if they cared much about you, they would be very concerned and at least try to warn you.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (825 days ago)

Meiguoren, don't waste time on this woman. We are not in the same league. At least Planet Mars (maybe you if you're a man) and Planet Venus (me, for example) are in the Solar System, but Mingg03???? Don't know what kind of system in the outer space she's from?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pinkstone (825 days ago)

minggo03, stop calling him HUSBAND because he's not your husband..

(I am based in Macau)

Posted by douglaskoh (824 days ago)

Frankly speaking, I will vote for polygamy if given an opportunity. However, as the law stands in China/USA/France/many countries, one can only have one husband and one can only have one wife. So sad. Law does not define love and happiness.

Many local Chinese are troubled with their marriage but are not having a divorce. Does legally married to just one person really means happiness? I don't know. Does not legally married to many people or even one night stand means unhappiness? I don't know.

I think I am also commenting too much. This is after all the legal section. So, I should just stick to the law.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by raincatcher (824 days ago)

This is not simply a legal matter. These women should get their men sort out their affairs with their legally married (first) wives BEFORE going into a relationship with them. I sure hope the same will happen to them so that they can get a taste of their own medicine.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pizza (824 days ago)

I have just read this thread and can not believe that Ming and Feng could be so lacking in both morals and concience. I feel so so sorry for Ming and for any children she has or goes on to have. She has a HUSBAND who is not in the legal sense her husband and she has a child by her lover and is trying for another child with her lover and hoping her not really her husband will leave his wife to be with her .....Wow! the stuff of Mills and Boons with a bit of spice added. Why do I feel sorry for her? It shows us all how a lack of education, a desire to obtain an overseas passport, a desire to leave China and poverty results in - a woman who is prepared to let these men treat her as a door mat (a polite way of putting it) Not worth it! Lets face it they are not going to leave their wifes for her and they will be too embarrased to tell their friends about her - Ming will remain these mens sordit little secret - poor children.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by raincatcher (824 days ago)

Pizza, at least Feng stops replying to the thread when she sees our responses (and negative comments). But Mingg03??????

She is a doormat herself (see the way she responded to me) and that is the exact reason why her man is treating her like a doormat!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mingg03 (824 days ago)

Pizza, there is no need to feel sorry for me. As per chinese/french government I AM MARRIED!!! no matter what you all say. Being that his first marriage was NEVER registered that one, does NOT EXIST. All this shows that the only woman HE LOVES is ME; he does not care about his first wife or kid. When he dies I will be the one to collect his money BECAUSE I AM HIS WIFE!!

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by turtle1 (824 days ago)

She'll never understand as we all obviously have very different standards and definitions.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by raincatcher (824 days ago)

"When he dies I will be the one to collect his money BECAUSE I AM HIS WIFE!!"

-- Now we know what this woman is after!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by douglaskoh (823 days ago)

As per chinese/french government I AM MARRIED!!! no matter what you all say. WRONG. As I said, the first marriage though was never registered may also be recognized legally. Hence, any subsequent marriage even if registered properly under the law is still void at initial. I strongly advise you and your husband approach a lawyer to get proper legal advice on this.

When he dies I will be the one to collect his money BECAUSE I AM HIS WIFE!! WRONG AGAIN. When he dies, you will get what his will states whether you are the wife or not. In his will, he can always give everything to anyone, including a total stranger. Anyway, when he dies, he probably have his fifth wife.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by gabb (823 days ago)

Isn't cohabitation relaionship, especially one that involves children, recoganized by law in some, especially Western, countries?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pizza (823 days ago)

Under UK law there is no longer a Common Law Wife status. Common Law Wife used to mean living together for seven years or more. This law was abolished in the UK some years ago. As Hong Kong follows along the lines of UK Law or it did I would imagine it is the same here, however perhaps a lawyer out there could advise Common Law Wife status in Hong Kong?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Meiguoren (821 days ago)

Wow, DK, we even have a conflicts of laws issue! Fun to analyze! In my USA home state, common law marriage is alive and well, as is dower. It's codified as fundamentally a 33% mandatory interest to wife, no matter what the will says, but if there are children she gets 25% and they get 25%, although this rule only applies to probated property. Marriage is (jurisprudentially) viewed as providing legal protection for legitimate wife and children as against the sort of shenanigans we see happening here. So then, you ask the question which jurisdiction's law would apply? Without doing any research I'd guess the law of the jurisdiction where the first marriage took place. But law really is all about morality -- what standards are so important that we will apply the clout of the state to enforce them? whose standards will apply? To me, the most sad thing (as many have mentioned here) is that someone's vision / goal / image of themselves in life could be so sold out so low as to allow themselves and their offspring to be victimized by these men. For while it may be voluntary, it doesn't seem to be particularly insightful. Although I suppose I must admit it's still a lot better lot in life than that suffered by the sex slaves in Thailand. I totally agree with your advice that the various parties involved go see a lawyer to sort out where they really stand legally, althought it doesn't sound like they really care.

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by Hong Kong Fooey (817 days ago)

Sounds like denial is a big river in Egypt to Feng n Ming. Ouch!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by beppi (815 days ago)

It seems to me that certain men get the women they deserve, and vice versa. Thanks god this apparently works all over the world, including China.

Very entertaining, this threat, without envoking sympathy with the actors.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by balzac (485 days ago)

tsk tsk

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by GreenValleys (485 days ago)

Why on earth did you go and dredge up this one? A year ago I thought it was all forgotten about.

(I am based in Jakarta)

Posted by thomasbmcghee (483 days ago)

I too have enjoyed reading this thread very much.
To me the comments from so many of you bashing the morality of Minqq03 and Feng show little cultural understanding of our wonderful host country. You need to pick up on the fact that most human beings on this planet do not have the luxury of believing in right and wrong enforced by law the way you do.

Since I started reading this thread I have been taking a poll in my English classes; asking "Would you choose a poor boy who loved only you and could provide 3000 Yuan per month or a rich married boyfriend who wanted to give you 6000 per month?"

A third of my students proudly raised their hands and voted for the rich married boyfriend. Culturally you need to see that morality here is based on the concepts of exchange of value and fairness. A man is still considered basically good as long as he financially takes care of his lovers.

Also I have been unable to get my very hard working career minded lady students to look down on or sharply criticize "barbershop" girls. They just feel that "job" and that lifestyle are just another option. i.e. You can bust your butt working 10 hours a day 6 days a week for 2000 to 3000 yuan per month or you can choose to do it the "barbershop" way.

Like Dolittle said in My Fair Lady the rest of us including Minqq03 and Feng just can't afford your middle class morality !

(I am based in Guangzhou)

Posted by balzac (478 days ago)

Ah- dont think it's got anything to do with class. Culture, perhaps. I should know since I am of chinese extraction.

I read an interesting article about 'kept women' and how they treat their liasons like any professional would- as a career.

At their prime (20's) they seek out the biggest fish and proceed to squeeze as much earnings as possible.After 35, that's when things start to turn pear shaped for some, but it's interesting how some accept this fate with such 'grace'. They just accept that it's over and find a new lover to take care of them. It helps to have a kid by their lover for continued monetary support.

I just wonder how these women would feel if their own daughters were to grow up one day and have their husbands 'stolen' away. Would they say, "too bad honey, you should have married a married guy, just like mommy?" If they have the capacity then to feel anger or outrage on behalf of their daughters, then it would seem that this sense of morality also applies to them.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by cnabhay (430 days ago)

Do not abuse the HUSBAND word, polygamy and bigamy is not easy to support both financially and emotionally, no matter your actions ethical or not is another issue. But happiness is never the END result, so whatever the two women are doing for getting others husbands is really NO USE and NO RESULT.
Dont even think about the LEGAL options.

(I am based in Beijing)